I’ve been pulled in two different directions concerning social issues, like lgbt – :religion: as opposed to ‘what I’ve come to believe, on my own.’
It’s funny, ‘cause on one hand I believed in my islamic teachings concerning sexuality – the interpretation or analysis I was taught, at least – and on the other, I wanted to see lgbt liberation, in society.
Whenever I would see or read about an lgbt person breaking barriers or advancing the cause of love and acceptance towards the lgbt community (which is still really lacking today, with all of the negative feelings and actions towards them), id get happy about it. I really liked it. I was like, yes! This is what a compassionate society is about, to a large extent- getting people to see the humanity and awesomeness of a group of people who have been marginalized, and who have had many prejudices demonstrated against them in society, and misguided notions. “help me to help you see the humanity in me – and let’s just lived based on our shared humanity, rather than other things” is a value that I’ve always admired in certain lgbt+ activists, certain cultural and ethnic minority figures/leaders, and so on.
But I somehow still held on (sometimes quite firmly) to what my religion was saying regarding sexuality and gender identity. Thus I felt pulled in two different directions to a large extent, in this issue. I believed in what my faith was saying (*probably out of not wanting to leave it behind/abandon it at all, more than actual belief in the teaching) – but at the same time still saw lgbt as an important issue, in society.
And so, I never really did anything about my belief in lgbt acceptance, in society…I never wrote Fb posts about it, or anything. (*my Fb posts even to this day are often comprised of my views about life, about things in life..) I had never written Fb posts or social media posts about it. Probably because I was still convinced to a large degree about ‘what god – islam, our faith – tells us..’.
So I believed in my faith (didn’t question that aspect nearly enough as I could have), and for that reason didn’t share my other* views about lgbt acceptance.
But now I’ve left the former belief behind.
The good news – the relief, to me – is that my story is not new. It’s not unique – different from the standard narrative – by any means. There are lots and lots of stories about people who have grown disenchanted with certain aspects of their religious teachings. And who have been hindered from believing what they want to believe, or from even doing what they want to do, all because of having a force that both blinds them – obscures things and embeds convictions in them that they would not* have held, otherwise – and constricts them; keeps them from doing what they want, in life.
So yes – my story is not new. How many times have I heard about famous people – whether writers, actors, singers, professors, artists, or anything else, really – (especially on like, Wikipedia, and other biography sites) -who had grown disenchanted with their religion, or with certain aspects of it? More times than I can even remember, honestly(!) I’ve heard so many of these types of stories. Oftentimes, I’ve even heard specifically about famous-people stories where they, the famous people, had said “I left my religion because I couldn’t believe in what it teaches – or had taught, in the past – about homosexuality, or lgbt, or other social issues.’ I’ve also seen and read articles where the famous person had said something like ‘I believe in my religion (Catholicism, Orthodox Judaism, or whatever), but don’t believe in what it says about these specific issues.’ And I’ve also come across people who ‘have their own kind of relationship with god, or with a higher power, but don’t have a religion.. They don’t feel they need a religion dictating social beliefs or any other beliefs onto them. They believe in god, or a higher power, with no formal religion.’ Which I love! I’m of this latter category, I would say.. :p this fits me the most, I guess.
But yea it’s an age-old story, this whole disenchantment with certain aspects of one’s religion. I actually honestly doubt that anyone is 100% ok with absolutely everything their faith teaches. You’d be hard-pressed! If the person is really honest with themselves, that is.
Btw, The Book of Mormon Girl (the memoir) has this very narrative in there, too – about how the author grew disenchanted with the LDS’s teachings on sexuality, and other issues. That memoir was really popular- it looks good. It resonates with me – this message of free thinking and questioning.
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I love* Islam, though – just like I love all religions. But I don’t understand how a faith that has such beautiful teachings as ‘be patient/hold on,’ ‘be kind,’ ‘there is an afterlife/there will justice,’ ‘be good to your parents,’ and ‘don’t hurt anybody, even in the slightest’ can then go on and say ‘homosexuality is abhorent.’ I mean, to who? To god? Well, it’s not abhorrent to gay people, so I mean, they don’t have a problem with it. Nobody truly has a problem with it. why should god?
And like, why is it abhorrent to ‘god’? I never got an answer to that. 🙁 never will, in my opinion. That’s why I don’t believe this. I love all religious teachings that guide towards good, though. Like patience, generosity, forgiveness, etc.
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if other muslims were taught that homosexuality is ok in Islam – that same-sex marriage is blessed (just like heterosexual marriage), that transgender is just a gender identity, there’s nothing wrong with it from an Islamic point of view – that is great. That’s the right message for the world, in fact. The correct message – the one the world should embrace, and needs to hear. It’s the correct message (regarding homosexuality and transgender identity.) I~ (for one) did not have that teaching; I was taught almost the complete opposite, in fact. I was taught that marriage is between a man and a woman, and that anything else is wrong. Quite explicitly and clearly, in fact.. 🙁 it wasn’t really a point of contest, in regards to the teachings/the tenants of islam. That was my own experience. I wish I had been taught something more lenient in regards to minority sexual orientations and gender identities. I mean, I like to think I’m a person who cares more about someone’s character and what s(he) stands for in life – her ethical principles, and moral convictions – more so than characteristics that dont really have to do with anything…like sexual orientation, like gender identity, like race/ethnic background. All of that is irrelevant to me. I like to think so anyway 🙁
I’m from Sudan though – things are kind of strict over there, and that without doubt influenced my religious upbringing. Sudan is in fact one of the stricter ones, in the Islamic world. It’s no Lebanon. (Not that Lebanon is a haven of tolerance and free speech, freedom to do whatever you want, etc. But it’s better than Sudan. -you know the thing about how some counties are more free than others? I think that’s so true. look at Saudi vs Malaysia. Or: Saudi vs Turkey. It’s like night and day, almost. (**in some certain (few, I would argue) respects. Not in all things..or even most things. In a few very specific instances. (I don’t wanna bash saudi…the people are very nice, and warm and hospital. The surrounding circumstances around them are not good, in some respects, though.)
In my mind, Sudan has always been one of the stricter ones in North Africa.. (‘the saudi of North Africa, hehe). If not to that extent (and, if Sudan isn’t in fact one of the stricter islamic countries in North Africa), then it at least has a fundamentalist streak about it, very heavily. 🙁 I think at one point, hijab was mandatory, and etc.. and islamic jurisprudence infiltrated many aspects of life. I think Sudan is one of the stricter ones, in North Africa 🙁 I could be very wrong, though..
🙁 This is partly why I say that people who were raised to believe what they want, in their life – with no indoctrination involved – are the lucky ones. No one* would have negative beliefs about lgbt rights or transgenderism or homosexuality if they weren’t taught something negative about it, from the beginning. I.e., there is nothing inherently wrong with lgbt rights, and etc. There’s nothing that would make a person averse to those elements of life, had it not been indoctrinated into them. So basically, nobody on their own terms – without outside influence coming from religion, or society – has a problem with lgbt rights, or transgender identity, or bisexuality, or homosexuality, etc. Because: that would be illogical. And you can’t be born illogical – it has to be that somewhere down the line you were exposed to and influenced by ideologies that made you illogical. And actually a really good example of that is that many people come from certain faith backgrounds that give them beliefs that they would not* have held, otherwise. No way would they have believed in them, otherwise. Had they not been such a strong tenant of their faith. The whole thing is quite sad, actually. It’s like, a waste of time and everything, believing in teachings that are actually counterproductive to the goal of love, compassion, and understanding between human beings – between everyone.
That said, I really like certain teachings of religions.. but others, I don’t understand how they could even be thought up/created. I know for a fact that god did not ordain these things. The only thing that god ordained is love, peace, and compassion- that’s it. So, the god that I believe in (I believe in a higher power..) didn’t ordain most of the beliefs I’ve been brought up in. He didn’t ordain that prayer is compulsory, for one example. He didn’t even ordain that you have to believe in him, actually. I mean, I think if god does exist, he wouldn’t care if we believe in him or not. He certainly wouldn’t punish us for not believing in him. Like, the whole thing of having to believe in god to enter heaven? salvation based on belief? That’s not true. You can’t tell me that atheists/agnostics who give in charity and who care about people, who are perfect human beings (perfectly fine) are going to end up in hell.. while Muslims who don’t do any of that (or who might have really bad characteristics, actually) are going to end up in heaven because they happen to believe in Islam, or in god. None of that makes sense. ☹️ And moreover, why would one have to believe in anything to enter heaven? What if the belief(s) don’t happen to be convincing, to me? Or they don’t mesh with what I personally think.. *which explains why there are non-Muslims, in the world. They obviously don’t think Islam is the way. There are other belief systems out there.. and there’s also atheism, agnosticism, etc. So, none of that matters- none of those beliefs or non-beliefs matter. It’s only the quality of your heart that matters. And the Qur’an actually mentions this same thing: mun ata allaha bi qalbin saleem. It’s only a matter of having a sound heart, and not hurting others, etc. 😢 that’s it
Here’s my blog post that I wrote back in June 2019. https://findingapeacefulplace.wordpress.com/2019/06/30/lgbt/
Thx. 😘
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