I don’t want this blog post (or essay) to be any sort of manifesto on my disinterest in the macro- and mezzo-level elements of life. I don’t intend for this essay to be a statement on my disinterest in (socio)political affairs. But I would like it if this essay can be seen as a thesis on my deep interest in art, literature, self-healing, therapy, education, interpersonal relationships, the family unit, friendships, and spirituality. All of these elements exist within a wider sociopolitical context, of course. But they can be separated from politics proper, or the actual politics, policies, public affairs, and etc. that govern (and sometimes subjugate) people, in mass.
Also: it often feels as though people think the macro-level context of life is most important, rather than being viewed as only one component of life, alongside the micro level and the mezzo level. In other words, it seems that many dimensions of academia, the media, certainly government and politics, and institutions like research centers, and policy institutes—it seems that these various institutions of society have helped give off an impression that the macro and mezzo levels of society are inherently more determinative than the micro-level dimensions. They’ve implied that the macro and mezzo levels are more consequential, and therefor weightier and more worthy of engagement and study. So, “It’s not only that these contexts shape and mold the individual person; they actually determine life, and the person, herself. These contexts/elements are what cause a person to behave in xyz fashion, or to behave the way she does. They cause or influence her thoughts, behaviors, and actions, to a very great degree. And they affect most facets of life, either positively or negatively.” That’s a definite feeling I got from certain elements of society. It’s almost as if the individual person himself is non-existent, in the focus on the macro and mezzo. In analyzing macro- and mezzo-level contexts, we’ve paradoxically almost erased the actual human beings who live in those contexts, along with their own views on the past, present, and future. And we’ve glossed over (eliminated, really) what the individual person actually thinks about her own life; where she came from, where she is right now, and where’s she’s headed, in future. In turn, we’ve dismissed personal accounts and individual narratives for a more focused look at the sociopolitical context around the individual person, or people.
It’s almost as if we’ve come to the conclusion that: “it doesn’t matter what you think about your own life, and it barely matters what exactly is going on in your own life, either. The particulars of it, and even any of the actual events, whether large-scale or small-scale, really don’t matter. You live in xyz context (sociopolitical context), and that’s all we’re interested in. That’s mostly all that matters.” So again, it seems like we’ve dismissed the micro-story, or the personal account or individualized experience, for the larger sociopolitical context around the person. But my argument and general feeling (my assertion) is that the two may or may not be related. Sometimes the person undergoes pain and suffering that has little to nothing to do with the larger sociopolitical context around her. What do I even have to do with any of the systems or structures that function around me? They were here before I was born. External circumstances (capitalism/exploitation, racism, sexism, oppression…and any sort of external condition) are the last thing on my mind, honestly. They’re the first thing on my mind (rarely. sometimes. lol), but they’re really the last thing on my mind. And so I feel that my main struggles in life were very private, personal struggles. It was true suffering, in my opinion. But it just happened to not be tied to racism, sexism, xenophobia, capitalism/exploitation, oppression, or any macro-level phenomenon, I think. I assume that many people’s struggles are not actually related to those societal injustices, either, although many people are themselves racial minorities, female or genderqueer, immigrants, low-income workers/low-income people, or otherwise marginalized. (I can relate to each one of those things.) Despite many people’s marginalized identities within the wider society that they belong to, their true problems in life—their main issues, or major life problems—were not related to those aspects of their identities. I’m sure many people’s main grievances and pains in life were much more along the lines of human-condition problems. Problems that plague everyone, regardless of race, ethnicity, religious affiliation, gender, sexual orientation, immigrant status, or even how wealthy they are. I’m sure lots of people’s pains and sorrows in life were more along the lines of “My parents passed away when I was young, or at age 18, or 19.” Or “my two siblings are really cold towards me, and nearly abusive. We’re not really on good terms–we don’t talk.” Or “I developed schizoaffective disorder when I was 13.” Or “I’m isolated at this point in my life; I don’t have friends.” Or “I’m at a job, but I’m feeling stuck. I wanna change careers, but I’m scared/reluctant.” Or “I have a lot of existential problems, and spiritual problems. I wanna believe in a faith, but I have a lot of difficulties with it.” And etc. I think those are all easily a problem, too. And so; is that sociopolitical problems? Or are they more like micro-level problems, individualized problems? Personal problems? Of course, even these types of issues exist within a wider sociopolitical context, too. But so what? They’re largely unrelated to the sociopolitical problems that plague humanity. I mean, regarding the sociopolitical problems of humankind, my whole thing is; let them (meaning, those learned people) deal with it. Let the politicians and the academics and the activists/organizers deal with it. That’s obviously the answer to it, I think. It’s self-evident and correct, this idea. There’s little else to say about it, I guess. It’s inappropriate to expect people who are not in a specific field to solve the problems of, or even to do anything at all in, the field itself. Not in any substantial manner–no way. It’s inappropriate and presumptuous to expect that. I wouldn’t expect a sociologist or a public policy maker to provide any offerings outside of her own area of knowledge, either. | And so I think I should let them deal with it–I should let the aforementioned types of people deal with the public difficulties of life. The constricting circumstances, and the injustices. I mean I myself don’t know what any of that stuff is, even. This is despite my own inherent, god-given traits that people keep saying are so crushing, and whatnot. I never felt it, honestly. I never felt different because of my national origin/race/gender/religion/economic status. And I never felt any urge to create sociopolitical change, in any capacity. Except for the poverty thing, that is. I actually did always want to do something for poverty, for low-income people. I myself came from a financially unstable family, in my youth. This is when we had first immigrated to the U.S. We had filed bankruptcy, and never really had a lot of money. I think we were lower-middle class. But other than that, I don’t feel a strong need to go into sociopolitical spheres. I never felt a strong urge or calling to go into the sociopolitical spheres of life. To truly be a part of it, that is; to work at like a policy institute or really effective organization, of sorts. At most, I had actually planned very specifically to go into small local nonprofits and small publishing houses–political presses–after college. But I actually came down from that cloud completely, mainly because of my difficulties with my mental disorder, my shyness, and my lack of interest in work of that nature. I realized that I’m not really cut out for “real work,” in society. I’d be a terrible employee, for one thing; never getting work in on time, or even at all, and etc. https://findingapeacefulplace.wordpress.com/2021/08/31/c-4/ | It’s always really encouraging and interesting to see other people so enraptured by the sociopolitical. It’s really moving and intriguing to see that. And they’re truly invested in it; some have dedicated their lives to it, despite some challenges that they themselves might have faced in getting situated with the field, or with their specific roles and duties. Most people at least follow it, and support others in their bids and efforts to create meaningful sociopolitical change and positive results, in the community. In society. At the same time, I honestly think a lot of people have their own personal traumas. They’re really messed-up, internally. They’re going through a lot, and etc. We often are so focused on the outside world that we forget that there are a lot of inner worlds—inner universes—that people live in and are preoccupied with. It’s little to do with any sociopolitical realities. And that’s my own feeling about my own situation in life. So I’m actually more interested in the micro than I am in the macro or mezzo. Maybe everyone who’s not active in the sociopolitical realm is sorta of this same mindset, too. And I’m sure many people who are in the sociopolitical spheres of life wish that they didn’t have to be; they wish they could just be regular civilians, regular citizens. But they feel there’s much societal work to get done. A public servant’s work is never done, I guess. Honestly, work or activities of any nature is never really “done,” either. Whatever work you do, whatever main path or career you choose for yourself, you get up and do it again, the next day. You continue on for many days in a row. Everyone’s doing a wonderful job. Everyone is important. I don’t care if you’re sweeping the floor after lunch. People would get upset and eventually enraged if the floor wasn’t swept and in order. They’d say something like “what the heck; this is bad.” So; don’t think it’s insignificant. And don’t fall for the hype that some fields are better choices for everyone, than others. I mean my own ultimate goal in life, my plans for my ultimate wage-work, or whatever, is to go into animation—animation arts. I had to re-route my direction after college, after studying English literature and liberal studies, and simply just go somewhere else, and do something else. So it’s just gonna be content creation, for me. Educational animation, animated films, animated music videos, documentary production, and etc. Some might say it’s not that big of a deal. | One thing I’m learning in my life is that success looks differently for everyone. For one person, success might be becoming a public official and really changing her immediate community in as positive a way as possible. Her and her colleagues in city council, or whatever. Taking those sociopolitical problems head-on. Something really official, like that. For someone else, success might be writing books (novels) that she feels really show how the difficulties of life—especially private, personal difficulties; things that nobody could have helped—do not, cannot, define the human condition here on earth. Difficulties are a part of life, but they cannot be taken in a negative way, paradoxically. It might be very painful, but I’ve heard and understood that one shouldn’t take it negatively. I think Rumi wrote that when someone beats a rug, he’s not really beating up the rug, but he’s getting the dust and etc. out of it. I read this in The Soul of Rumi, by Coleman Barks. And so when things get really uncomfortable, it might be a means for purifying the self and for ridding oneself of all negativities, and not just the negativities of the calamity or difficulty in question. I think that with most problems, there’s a means for purification and cleansing, and release. Maybe that’s what they’re there for. And this doesn’t mean that you’re able to brush the suffering aside and not let it bother you, but it indicates that you should attempt to take everything with a grain of salt. Don’t take anything badly; especially the really negative things, ironically. Through this, you can begin to get a lot of release and self-correction, even regarding all the past pain and suffering that maybe never got healed. And I’ve heard that this process of experiencing suffering in a productive way, rather than in a tearing-yourself-down way (I can’t really pinpoint what the true name of this process is) actually gives a lot of peace of mind and spiritual understanding. So does contextualization; having a constant way of putting those unwanted elements of your life into proper perspective. This is in regards to your wider life, and the things that are going ok–the positive aspects. Religion helps me a lot too, actually. I’m Muslim, and I pray and I fast, and I read the sacred texts of the faith. I believe in god and in a life hereafter. And so difficulties are there, but they really can’t be taken as the be-all and end-all of life. I actually heard that the problem of evil is what has turned many people away from faith, and from religion. Regardless of the religious question or faith paradox, it’s unlikely that the negative parts of life are more significant than the positive elements. Why would negative things ever overcome positive sources of happiness, and the grace and etc. that actually does exist in life? | So, in relation to the success thing; everyone’s different in their realization of and embodiment of success. Success is not one description of something—of any one type of achievement. It literally looks differently for everyone. So I think both of the aforementioned types of people are successful, and valuable. I myself am not deeply interested in politics, public affairs, and authorizational things like that. Executive things that create external effects (results) in the community, or in society, has never really been my forte. I think I’m more interested in things like literature, art, and film, and things that might help with psychological and spiritual development. It might not really matter what you’re interested in, as long as you give it your best and do it well. I personally can’t name many public officials or administrative officials off the top of my head, but I can name many authors, visual artists, and films/filmmakers. I view sociopolitical spheres as immensely important, but the interest level for me isn’t really there, that much. It’s similar to the math thing; I view math as extremely important in life, but I’m not that attracted to the subject, itself.
One might say; well, art, film, and literature (to take those three, as an example) don’t cause anything to happen, in sociopolitical spheres. But that would be sort of like saying; politics doesn’t cause any change in medicine (in medicinal fields), or in engineering, or in business scopes. Or in art and multimedia fields, themselves. They’re all different fields—they’re all wonderful fields—so why would one field need to cause change in another? I think if you as a multimedia artist or filmmaker or illustrator make one person feel better about themselves and their own difficulties, then you’ve accomplished quite a lot. If you can use your artistic talents to state your views on certain issues in life—especially in regards to certain niche audiences (like Muslims or immigrants), or certain neglected and unaddressed problems (like bullying, loneliness, domestic abuse, and ostracism)—then that would actually be very helpful. Even if you never see the direct benefits yourself, your work would still be valuable. I think the arts and entertainment industry (as well as literature, and so on) is really powerful. It looks like people get affected by it, for better or worse. It’s impactful. I mean I think I myself am more inclined towards positive media and entertainment. I hope that by the time I’m ready to try to go into animation, I hope the overall industry is in a state where they’re welcoming of narratives that are more in line with uniquely complex issues–ones that have a positive spin on them, and an encouraging element. For instance, I hope the industry eventually includes more complex lgbt+ stories, and not simply coming-out stories. I feel like I’ve seen several of those, before. There’s a gap, I feel, in regards to films that focus on certain issues that lgbt+ people might deal with, like reconciling their identities with certain faiths that they might have practiced as youths. Taught to them by their parents/families, and etc. A lot of churches and other communities are really rich in tradition with their lgbt+ base and membership. It seems that a lot of people are free thinkers, and they do what is right regarding every issue. And so many people embrace the lgbtq cause and community, while continuing with their own faith-based affirmations and relationships with God. And it seems that many lgbt people themselves practice a religion, whether Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Sikhism, Ba’hai, Hinduism, or anything else. And so I hope the animation industry–animated films, videos, and similar screenings–eventually includes more multifaceted lgbt+ stories, and not only the classic coming-out stories, and etc. I hope it eventually includes more religious-minority ideas and themes, more narratives that shed some sort of light on bullying and abuse issues, and things of that sort. I actually feel that the industry could use more complex and hard-to-deal-with themes and stories, but ones that have a positive spin on them, somehow. I mean stories that are deep and complex, but that manage to still keep their optimism and positive outlook. Or at least their hope, if nothing else. It’s common wisdom that things could always get better, even if they’re currently hard to deal with. I feel that this outlook and approach mirrors life itself, much more accurately than screenings that portray completely negative or completely positive narratives; I feel that those are not helpful or realistic. And so, I like the deep, complex nature of many stories, but with a contemplative or bitter-sweet or meaningful beat or undertone. Having aspects of both good and bad is a delicate balancing act, I think. This is in regards to animated films, and other productions. That’s the kind of thing I hope to work on, if I ever get to contribute to projects in the animation industry.
I’ve always been really interested in things like therapy, religion, family, friendships, nature, music, self-care, spirituality, and how all that is depicted in film, art, and literature. | I think the sociopolitical realm is so influential and effecting that we think we have to at least be in the peripherals of that specific field. But the reality is; there are lots of other things to do in life, too. It just depends on what you’re most drawn to, or what you really want at the end of the day. I’m gonna try to go into illustration, along with my part-time job, in the near future. Even if I don’t manage to get many commissions, I’ll try to submit my already-completed pieces to certain magazines, and I’ll self-publish my own art books, and things of that nature. I’ll try to become successful in my own capacity. As an independent artist, basically. Rather than as a freelancer or commissioned artist. I think it’s easier to make something of the artwork you already have done than it is to get picked up as a commissioned artist, for new work. That’s just a general feeling I have; I’m not sure if it’s true. But it seems that there really is a lot of competition out there for positions as assigned or contracted artists, for brand new art pieces that they want to get done. (“They” being book publishers, art directors, advertising administrators, and things of that sort.) And so I might just focus more on creating my own personal artwork and then submitting to literary and arts magazines; selling prints on my Etsy store; self-publishing my art books, and stuff like that. I might not make much income, but at least my store would be open, and I’d have my art books available online, and everything. And at least I wouldn’t have to work to any real deadlines; I can work at my own pace. The thing with commissioned work is that they expect it all due by a specific date; whether by three months’ time, or by five o’clock sharp on a future date, or whatever. But if I mainly go the independent artist route, I can produce work at my own pace, and I wouldn’t have to worry about getting it done by a specific time, or anything. And I think a lot of the “success” stuff is just luck, a lot of the times. This is regardless of whether you’re contracted, or independent. Your success rate just depends on certain uncontrollable factors, I feel. I mean I’ll ask “friends” (quote-on-quote) and acquaintances if they can help spread the word around about “my stuff,” I guess. So that people who are interested can find it, or whatever.
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I think if I had to compress this long-winded essay into one moment, one sentence, and one succinct idea, or thesis, it would have to be: I think I’ve always been more interested in man’s journey to spiritual understanding and fulfillment, and I’ve always been more interested in the individual mind and heart, more so than I’ve been interested in sociopolitical spheres, or in macro/mezzo-level processes, aims, and outcomes.
And this has been my main difficulty and frustration with trying to “find myself,” in life. In that; many people seem more inclined towards fixing external systems and structures than in alleviating internal difficulties–mental, emotional, familial, and interpersonal difficulties, for example. In contrast to this inclination, I myself am more interested in insulated troubles, and nonpublic difficulties and problems. I guess I’m more interested in private experiences and struggles, rather than external conditions and phenomena. That’s why I couldn’t find or imagine myself in mass movements and mass struggles. And nowhere within the sociopolitical or macro/mezzo realm, either.
I tend to be more attracted to the individual—even more so than the sociopolitical context that brought her up, and that gave her her understanding of the world. And which s/he might have even tried to change or positively alter, in all its evil and unfairness. It’s not that I don’t view the sociopolitical context as important; it’s just that I always saw the individual person as something ultimately separate from, though infinitely shaped by and molded by, his external condition. Conditions come and go, as a matter of fact—external circumstances come and go, all the time. But what remains with the person is his own heart and mind; his own evolving understanding of life, and its complexities. What also remains is god’s grace and eternal loving presence, even despite all of the external evil and maliciousness that surround the human person. And so extraneous and extrinsic conditions can come and go. Some seem far beyond the average person’s ability to eliminate or eradicate, through his own efforts. I personally have always been more interested in mental processes and how people even understand the world around them to begin with, rather than in external conditions themselves. And so, internal and external struggles and worlds are both important. It’s not really a question of one or the other; they both co-exist and play off of each other, anyway. It’s more of an examination of both, side by side, and an understanding of how different people are more attracted to one or the other, to varying degrees. I think this is why micro/mezzo/macro-level specializations occur in human interests and human occupations. | “He who looks outside dreams. He who looks inside awakens.” -Carl Jung. | “I’m nobody! Who are you?” -Emily Dickinson. | “Does he not know,- when that which is in the graves is scattered, and that which is (locked up) in (human) hearts is made manifest–that their Lord had been well-acquainted with them, (even to) that Day?” -Quran, 100: 9, 10, 11.
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