c:

Maybe my quietude, my reading habit, my journaling, my attempts at published creative writing, and my meditation and prayers, are enough to see me through. They’re enough to last me for the rest of my life. Maybe I don’t need other people—I don’t need approval, acceptance, popularity, or even close friends. Nor do I need recognition for my work, or a lot of money. | What if my own life was simply spent on my stream-of-consciousness stillness; my books; journaling; writing; and meditation/prayers? It would clearly have to be spent on many other tasks and responsibilities as well, but what if I considered those few things as the point of my life—the activities that I revere the most? | The only negative I can think of with this plan is that it’s not immediately beneficial to others; it might not help solve problems and difficulties. Maybe I simply have to come to terms with this reality, though. I’ve always had plans to help others in my own capacity—especially in terms of graphic designs and visual communications that other people need to get done for their documents and materials; tutoring elementary schoolers; perhaps helping out at my local mental health nonprofit or domestic violence shelter, through employment or through volunteer work; and etc. Beyond that, though; maybe I should just be content with my own designated place in life, or my lot, or the overall environment and context I’m meant to be in. It’s easier to wish you could live a life you’re not currently living than it is to be content with the life that you already have, no matter how productive and harm-free your current life actually is—no matter how well-thought-out, beneficial to yourself and to certain others, and harm-free your current life actually is. It’s always tempting to wish for a more prestigious type of life, one that is societally well-liked and well-respected. Even leaving societal preferences and expectations aside, everyone sometimes wishes they could move up in the hierarchy of life, if such a hierarchy exists and is legitimate. They wish they could be at the upper echelons of their respective fields. Or, similarly, they wish they could be in what is perceived to be the most critical or looked-up-to types of work. But I’m not sure if this system and phenomenon of reaching great and astronomical heights is meant for everyone; I don’t think that’s everyone’s calling. People who have certain types of illnesses and conditions in particular sometimes feel that they are meant for slower living, as it’s sometimes referred to; they’re not suited for being in high-stakes, very-high-importance types of lives. Or careers; situations. | Despite differing circumstances, many people see their specific lives as being just as good as anyone else’s. They consider what they have as being as meaningful and good as other people’s allotted portion; gratitude and thankfulness. This is in contrast to seeing others’ lives as being more elevated, more significant, and more valuable–even if others’ services and contributions are indeed more revered and celebrated by society. | As for me, I’ll focus on perfecting myself, my community, and my loved ones, rather than trying to affect systemic change on a mezzo- and macro-level basis—rather than trying to change society, with all its many defective systems and structures. I think I’m an illustrator and a videographer/video editor, at heart; I’m trying to become a videographer and an illustrator. And a self-published (indy) writer; essays and prose poetry. I guess content creation is not as significant as being involved in social progress and societal problem-solving; but I’ve already accepted about myself that I am who I am; we all have equal worth, pretty much. Things like occupation and diversity of thought are often happenstance; they only indicate the nuance in human experience.