c:

It seems that it’s best that people like me create our own life. I don’t think we’re meant to live the same as everyone else, necessarily. We have to create a life that suits us, one that we can continue along very well.

I tend to get very lost in my own head; I have intrusive and repetitive thoughts that are hard to control. It’s best when I take my mind off my worries and either read a book, watch a movie, go for a walk, take a bath, etc. Or similarly, I do a task from my to-do list, an obligation from my to-do list that needs to get done. I sort of split my time between relaxing things and more productive things; and both of these types of activities help me keep an emotional balance. I feel I’m at my worst when I am in a ruminating state, when I’m not actively engaged in something either useful or calming. It’s very easy for me to slip into a state of rumination, worry, and negative thinking, and I don’t really realize that I’m doing it. It’s sometimes hard to get out of that state, too. 

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I don’t know if I’m very interested in socio(politics); it’s not my subject matter. I like learning about individuals’ lives, and what they thought about life and its various realities; and what they managed to make out of their own lives. The more turmoil and adversity they faced, the better; it shows me what’s possible, despite negative circumstances. | I like biographies, autobiographies, memoirs, profile pieces, personal essays, and poetry; I think these pieces really help show me what is going through a particular person’s mind, what they believe, and how they think. It at least gives me a glimpse into surface-level attributes. This type of thing helps me feel closer to humanity, as someone who doesn’t really have close friends or people to talk to on a regular basis. It comforts and consoles me. |

Religion and spirituality is probably a running theme in my life. I grew up Muslim, in a practicing Muslim family; but now I believe in god with no formal religion. I’ve left the literalism and strict adherence to religious doctrine (dogmatism) that I’d sensed was going on, and now I am more of a free thinker in terms of religion. I like religion very much, though. I’m more interested in the “spiritual side of religion” than in the dogmatic side. I always felt like religion (and music, art, literature, etc.) is the one thing that always has your back; it’s not a judgmental or abusive institution or phenomenon. It’s for everybody, and it’s comforting; solace and peacefulness. god is for everybody, too; he’s very loving and kind. It’s more of a spiritual being who guides you along a journey back to him (or it). | I don’t really like to idolize living figures or personalities, because everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. But I usually take comfort in and draw strength from god and from historical figures, people who have lived and died. I feel that the only human beings I really believe in 100% are the ones who have already died; I can’t really have complete faith in living figures. Again; everybody makes serious mistakes, and no one is perfect. My role models and “idols” (quote-on-quote) are already-deceased figures. Sometimes things become clearer about a person’s life only after they’re gone, anyway. And the sympathy and compassion for them (and the interest in them) often formulates only after they’re deceased. |