a note, and a plan

It’s the third day of Ramadan, 2022. May allah swt accept all of our prayers during this blessed month. May he give strength to the ummah and to all humanity; insha Allah everything will be ok.  I don’t really think that I was supposed to be as stagnant as I have been, in my life.…

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c:

I think I’m going to use all of the slights, the insults, the abuse, and the contempt/hatred I received from other people throughout the course of my life, I’m gonna use it to focus more on serving my community via the kinds of work I like to do; I’m gonna use it for strengthening my…

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c:

Evenings—red, rose-colored, pink—often pacify people into forgetting their suffering. The sun half gone and the sound of water running its course through a stream, river, creek—lead people into a trance. They’ll be completely enraptured, and then they’ll see cruelty and inexcusable pain, again. Then they’ll see the moss on a tree and become entranced, again. They’ll be entranced, and…

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c:

Bodies of Water Bodies of water are blueish-green, clear blue, dark blue holy sites. But is there enough purpose and meaning in that? A body of water trapped in an indifferent universe must justify its own existence,
 just like a self-conscious sacred spot
 must ask itself “why am I here?” Being a refuge for others…

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c:

Maybe my quietude, my reading habit, my journaling, my attempts at published creative writing, and my meditation and prayers, are enough to see me through. They’re enough to last me for the rest of my life. Maybe I don’t need other people—I don’t need approval, acceptance, popularity, or even close friends. Nor do I need…

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c:

Once one stops expecting anything to happen, in her life—once she stops expecting anything from anyone, and once she refrains from anticipating anything, or wanting anything in particular to happen…and once she stops wanting negative situations to cease—at that point, she will live her life in a natural state, untainted by vain desires and unnecessary…

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c:

I’m not trying to lose weight, anymore. I am 269 pounds. I no longer am trying to lose weight. I am actively trying to eat healthily, drink enough water, exercise, sleep, and etc. If I lose a bunch of weight through this process, that’s great. If I don’t; I no longer desire to be one-hundred-and-something…

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c:

I’ve had people say to me—and I’ve also sensed them thinking—you know, Ethar, you should smile at all times. You should walk down the street smiling. (I’m a walker—a hiker, in fact. I take an hour or two hours’ walk, on certain days. Most other days, it’s half an hour, or under an hour.) “You…

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